My heart’s been racing for hours and it’s really becoming psychologically and physically tormenting, since I’ve been experiencing this quite often. I just can’t bring myself to stop worrying. One itsy bitsy detail going wrong, or one miniscule mistake flashing between my eyes and I’m dying inside. I’ve tried breathing exercises and recited mantras to myself but these wouldn’t even help.
The fact that I am a perfectionist (deep inside) is probably the thing to blame. I just couldn’t help it. I’d always tell myself that it’s okay to make mistakes but I guess I just don’t like feeling so stupid:( I mean I already had a lot of stupidity moments but I haven’t gotten used to this feeling yet. Darn it. I’m acting like a teenager again. I should really learn how to let go and move on. I may be irresponsible for the time being but I’ll never be irresponsible for the rest of my life, right Tine? I can always correct my wrongdoings, create better strategies, work more efficiently and productively and so on. Ugh. Why do I always let petty things ruin my day/ life (in exaggeration).
I guess goodbye high grade in PhCh 126.1. Well, we’re not yet done but I won’t expect anymore. I just hope to pass. I promise to use the insights I learned from all my failed moves in the near future.
Screw this anxiety of mine. I really can’t wait for summer. I must really work on having a peace of mind and on calming my nerves over the break so I’ll be physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically prepared for the six (Yes, 6 na lang ha) semesters left of my college education.
Totally blah post this one is. Sorry, tumblr.
As a result of the final decision to move the academic school calendar from june- march to august-may, I am obliging myself to create a plan to spend my uber long break wisely. This is the perfect time to learn (ehem) new skills and do productive stuff.
I keep on forgetting that I am only 20 years old. Well, I’ll use that to my own advantage:) I really do have a strong affinity for the number 21.